I've decided that since this is a public service blog, written with the intention of improving lives, I thought I'd write something to improve the lives of most husbands around the country. This blog may come too late, but hopefully there are still some procrastinators out there who haven't yet hung their Christmas Lights. Oh yes, you know what I mean. No sooner has your feast of Thanksgiving Turkey and Stuffing been digested when tragedy strikes. It's time to hang the Christmas Lights. Since this is a very difficult argument to win....given the whole good will to men and peace on Earth tradition of Christmas, I've included some pertinent options to bring into the discussion with your spouse.
Your life is in danger - that's right. Each year thousands of over weight, over stuffed husbands meet harm to life and limb while trying to hang these dangerous lights. I've even heard on call surgeons have a betting pool on how many broken limbs will come through the ER doors Thanksgiving weekend. I'm here to help protect these lazy husbands everywhere. Don't believe me...follow this link.
What about the environment? - thank you Al Gore (I'll never forget the image to the right) and 200 years of the human population wasting
energy and polluting the Earth.
It's not very green thinking if you're going to waste all that energy over the holidays. To strengthen your argument, here's a link to a calculator to give you an exact idea of what additional energy you'll be using.
Honey, I'm so much better at making egg nog. You may be thinking you don't know how to make egg nog. Follow this link to Christmas Light Freedom. It's not going to sell itself.
However, if all these three attempts fail, at least try and hang the lights safely. Here's a link to help those of you who aren't experts at untangling 3 miles of knots.
I mean all of this in good fun. It's always such a special time of year and any bit of time spent with the family is special, even if it does include risking bodily harm. I hope all of you have a great holiday season.
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